Thursday, July 30, 2009

I hate today


I don't even know how to approach this, so I'll just launch into it.

My sister's leaving today. She's moving from Boston to Bloomington, Indiana, where she will begin a doctoral program at IU. I'll be staying in Beantown to begin my law studies at Suffolk University Law School.

We spent six of our adult years living together; eighteen of our childhood years. We lived in Michigan first, then Colorado, where we could see the Rocky Mountain foothills from our house. Four years ago we walked the Freedom Trail and found an apartment in Massachusetts. We packed a Uhaul and drove halfway across the country with all of our stuff in the back and a car dragging behind. This year we rented separate moving vans, both small and neither towing a car.

Jenna's my go-to person. When I'm hurting or sad or lonely or happy; when I have good news or bad or anything in between my first thought is: I have to talk to Jenna. We're twins. I wouldn't know if our relationship is stronger than others'. I'd [unavoidable cliche] run into a burning building for her. Now that she's leaving I feel like I'm standing in a burning building alone. First thought: I need to tell Jenna that I'm standing in a burning building alone.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

UN Security General Decries Sexual Violence in Armed Conflicts

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has called for states, particularly in Asia, Europe, and Africa, to strengthen prevention and protection measures against sexual violence in armed conflicts.

In his report to the Security Council, Mr. Ban wrote:

Sexual violence is deeply dehumanizing, inflicts intense mental and physical trauma, and is often accompanied by fear, shame and stigma. It is a well-established method of torture.

Mr. Ban later refers to International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda (ICTR), which, for the first time, in 1994, qualified the crime of rape as a form of genocide.
In so doing, ICTR recognized that sexual violence was a step in the process of group destruction — the “destruction of the spirit, of the will to live, and of life itself”.

I bow my head to Mr. Ban and recognize his heroic efforts to work for peace.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Can you IMAGINE?



Really? Law?
I, too, can hardly believe it.

If you had asked me four years ago, or even two years ago, I never would've answered "law school." No, up until a year and a half ago I was planning to study painting in graduate school. Useless degrees be damned!

Then I started to look at my past, which led me to thinking about my future. My list of jobs since graduating college with a BFA in painting and drawing include:
  • office temp
  • college bookstore temp (Colorado State University)
  • Home Depot customer service associate
  • art and frame store cashier and custom framing designer
  • college bookstore temp (Northeastern University)
  • college bookstore temp/cashier (MIT Coop)
  • support staff at the MIT Libraries
In six years I've worked at over half a dozen jobs and none of them paid me enough to maintain a decent savings account. Only the library job was at times intellectually challenging. At only one of them did I spend more than a year (my library job--three and a half years and counting).

So then I started to think about my future and deducted that with an M.F.A. in painting I would be setting myself up for more of the same. I started thinking about preparing for a career, which, I suppose, was a big step toward growing up.

I studied for the LSAT (do it; buy a book and spend at least a couple of months preparing for the test. You DO NOT want to have to take it again). I took the LSAT; I passed the LSAT; I applied to some schools; I was accepted; I won two full-tuition scholarships; I paid my deposit to Suffolk University; I registered for classes.

Now here I am, preparing to buy my books and pose for my ID photo. I have a class schedule and student health insurance (oh, beautiful liberal Massachusetts, your health insurance reform makes my heart go all pitter-pattery).

I'm excited and scared and thrilled and petrified. I have a sense that law school is going to be harder than I can even imagine (see my previous post) but I'm looking forward to the adventure. I just wish some compassionate law student out there would tell me what it's really going to be like.
Anyone?

Friday, July 24, 2009

Tack on another APR



I just read Jeremy Schachter's fabulous post about why law school is so awesome. I myself am understanding his finer points even though I haven't yet attended first year orientation. Schachter writes:

Comedy was cool, but I wasn't exactly rich, I was borderline poor. Not poor enough though. I wanted to know what it would be like to be poor and be millions in debt and it's awesome. Every bottle of Head & Shoulders and every falafel sandwich from Pita Joe is at 7.9 percent. Do you know how liberating that is!?

I, too, am suddenly drastically poor. This isn't the kind of poor in which I have to choose between buying milk and buying bread. This is the kind of poor in which I have to choose between Visa and Discover to buy aspirin. This is middle-class poor and it's added a new dimension to my world.

The key, though, is to spin it. When I signed the promissory note I didn't become poor; I became a super-environmentalist.
First: all that cash moving around this country is REALLY bad for the trees. Save the paper; use plastic! And speaking of plastic, here's a dirty secret: I REUSE sandwich bags. I'm an environmentalist from way back, so reusing baggies is good for my soul. My personal best is six; SIX days of using the same peanut-butter-smeared baggie! Dirtier secret: I've occasionally resorted to washing baggies and drying them on a dish drainer. I'm telling you, it's good for the environment and Tupperware containers don't easily fit in my backpack. I believe I can take this one box of baggies and spread it out over an entire year. I'm saving at LEAST $1.50 here.

I've started adding up how much I spend on food each day. By my calculations I can have two cups of coffee and a bagel in the morning, a peanut butter sandwich for lunch, a bowl of rice for dinner, and four rolls of Smarties for dessert, and still be under my $4/day limit for food. If you're wondering: yes, I do eat Smarties. The sugary, children's-tylenol kind, not the chocolate ones. For dessert. Often. What? It's cheaper than cake. The Smarties are naughty plastic-wrapped things but what's more earth-friendly than an entirely plant-based diet? Never mind that the only plant included here is rice. And the coffee is not fair trade, but it would be if I could afford fair-trade coffee.

And:
I was garage-sale-chic before garage sale chic was cool. And even before it was, ahem, chic. But how much does it rock that I bought an ENTIRE LAW SCHOOL WARDROBE from Goodwill? Look at me! I can be environmentally conscious AND fashionable all at...the...same...there's a stain on this blouse.

This law school thing is pretty awesome. Being poor, wearing yellowed rags, resisting hunger, headaches, and other temptations; it's all preparing me to be one ROCKING attorney. Or it would be, if I could afford to buy my books.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ending



My last day at work is less than three weeks away. I'm glad for the upcoming chance to reinvent myself, where no one knows my clothing style (easily changed); where no one has seen me wear sneakers every day (I've bought half a dozen new shoes); where no one has seen tiny wrinkles settle in my face (I am over thirty); in a place where no one knows my work history or my struggles in life or on the job (new struggles await). This leaving is also sad around the edges. I've drifted away from most of my peers at work, both physically and emotionally. My job duties at the MIT Libraries shifted in the past year so that I'm mostly alone most days. I rarely speak to my coworkers and I see them even less. They have lives that I'll never know about and in two and a half weeks I'll say goodbye to them for what may be the last time. How much more could they have taught me if I'd stuck around for longer, if I'd taken a chance and gotten closer?

Yet. My position at the library, and the positions of my coworkers, haven't historically been long-term. Among the five of us I'm the most senior, and I'll be leaving after less than four years at the job. (My boss has referred to my going to law school this way: "You're growing up.") The benefits are great but the pay is relatively low and the job's monotony is only infrequently punctuated by brief moments of challenge. It's mostly the same every week; every day; every hour. This is especially true when one's days are spent working alone. The dullness is caustic.

Yet. In two and a half weeks I'll sit at my desk for the last time. I'll turn off my computer for the last time. I'll say goodbye for the last time. Endings are wrenching.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Did I do that right? Is this what panic looks like? Why can't I keep a single line of thought?


Dear Incoming Law Student:
Brief this case.

Ok; so the letter I got from Suffolk Law was softer and more expository. It was, in fact, notably prosaic in tone and form. It was almost, in fact, kind.

The good news is that I've been invited to a four-day-long new student orientation session.

Orientation includes a two-hour First-Law-School-Class. Included in the orientation information was a packet of three cases. The first, Commonwealth v. Delgado, 367 Mass. 432 (1975), concerns armed robbery. The second, Commonwealth v. Howard, 386 Mass. 601 (1982), concerns armed robbery. The third, Commonwealth v. Powell, 433 Mass. 399 (2001), concerns armed robbery. As far as I can tell, the cases are nearly identical but the Supreme Judicial Court made three different rulings.

At any rate, the instructions said to read all three cases and the sample case brief for Delgado; to brief Howard but not Powell; and then...wait...what was the first one? I don't even think I cited the cases correctly.

I briefed Delgado before reading the sample case brief. The bad news is that I did it all wrong. I used bullet points where I should have used full sentences. I put some of the FACTS under the PROCEDURAL HISTORY heading. I stated the ISSUE incorrectly and the HOLDING was too long.

Now, I get that if I knew how to brief a case I wouldn't be a 1L. And I get that a sizeable part of the first year is taken up with learning how to brief cases. I'll learn it fast; of course I will. (I hope I will. What if I don't??) It's just that...well...I sort of wanted to be a prodigy.

Cue peals of evil laughter. The one-page letter may as well have been reduced to that one line: brief this case. Perhaps followed by ...and then you will die. muahaha. The anxiety is rising faster and faster.

If I can make it through the first class, then law school will be a breeze.
Just kidding.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Thirty-Something and Irons


Waking up early is fine when I have a set schedule. I consider waking up at five a.m. on a work day running late. But on Sunday morning I prefer six. So I was already grumpy this past weekend.

But once I got into the Sunday rhythm I shook off the five and drank some coffee; toddled around my apartment; cleaned a bit; took out the trash.

They sneaked in behind me:

Signs that I'm a grownup:
  • Sunday morning's big event: I screwed hardware into my wall.
  • I spent so long ironing curtains that my auto-shut-off-iron auto shut off. Twice.
  • I ironed curtains.
  • I own an iron.
  • My iron has an automatic shut-off feature.
It's not so bad, being an adult. It's the getting old that disturbs. Sometimes I ramble. Did you really care that I awoke early this weekend? I took a long shower Sunday morning because I couldn't remember whether I'd conditioned my hair. Or, actually, even washed it. (So now you understand my auto-shut-off iron.) Later, I panicked when I realized I'd left my cellphone on the train. As adrenaline rushed me I hurriedly finished the cellphone conversation I was having so I could go back and retrieve...my...cellphone.

Indeed.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Woot Woot

Today I got my class assignment for Fall '09. Woo HOO! I'm exceedingly excited. My schedule? M, W, TR 10am-3:50pm. T, F 11am-3:50 pm. Law school ROCKS.

Suffolk University's first year law curriculum is nearly identical to that of nearly every American law school.
1L:
  • Civil Procedure
  • Constitutional Law
  • Contracts
  • Criminal Law
  • Legal Practice Skills
  • Property
  • Torts

Note: admins arrange schedules to accommodate lots of out-of-class work time.
Blank

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Moving Weekend



It's moving weekend.

Today is apartment walk-through day. By walk-through day I mean cleaning day. I've packed my car with cleaning supplies and boxes and am now just waiting for the #Boston thunderstorm to let up before I go.

Tomorrow I pick up the Uhaul and make the final move.

I've been obsessing and making lists for weeks and now that moving weekend is here things are ramping up.

Obsessing:
  • Where will I park my car? Will it pass the state inspection?
  • I need to get a Brighton parking sticker.
  • How do I get to a veterinarian if my cat needs care?
  • Don't forget to get the oil changed.
  • What if I forget to pay my rent?
  • How do I get a wireless internet connection in my apartment?
  • How will I pick out clothes when I'm living alone?
  • Will it be possible to buy groceries and cat litter without driving?
  • Where will I go to fill up my gas tank?
  • I need to switch car insurance companies.
  • Should I keep my car?
  • I need window locks
  • I need a chain lock for the door
  • What if I lock myself out?
  • I need to buy a T-pass.
Listing:
  • 1 polka-dot shower curtain
  • 1 shower curtain liner (clear)
  • 1 package of shower curtain rings
  • 1 coffeemaker
  • 1 iron (the first iron I've ever owned)
  • 1 ironing board
  • 1 television (when did tv's get so...thin?)
  • 1 4-year television warranty
  • 1 litter box (enclosed)
  • 1 tub cat litter (scoopable)
  • 1 desk (used)
  • 1 small table (used)
  • 4 5" bed risers
  • 1 bag of pretzels
  • 1 jar of spaghetti sauce
  • 2 boxes of pasta
  • 1 can of coffee
  • 1 bottle of coffee creamer
  • 1 box of soy milk
  • 4 rolls of toilet paper
  • 2 rolls of paper towels