Breaking Down

I may be breaking down.

I already live in the Boston area--on the south shore--but will be moving closer into the city this summer. My twin sister, with whom I've lived for six years, will be moving to Indiana in August. I'll be living alone in a studio apartment that costs $1050 a month to rent. I'll be keeping my car, which means I'll likely be regularly searching for parking on a car-filled street, and I'm not very skilled at parallel parking. I need to open an account at a new bank and arrange for Internet service. My cellphone contract is ending and I'll have to arrange for a new one. I don't own a television and while I'd love to go without one I still sometimes like to relax in front of a television show now and then. My new apartment is tiny and so I'm currently purging my life of stuff I've collected in the last few decades.

Oh; and I'm beginning law school in August.

All of this is pushing me past the brink of panic. I have some normal doubts about my ability to succeed in law school along with apprehension and uncertainty about my decision to move into the city. I'm also mourning the loss of my things, even though it's clear to me now that I've collected way too much stuff. I'm heartsick that my sister is leaving and I'm unsure about whether I'll be able to pay all my bills next year.

I'm trying to take things day by day but anxiety attacks are coming regularly now. Compared to this, the LSAT was a piece of cake.

Note: This blog was changed to include the correction "I'm heartsick." The original text included the phrase, "I'm very sad that my sister is leaving," which was corrected.